2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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