Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
