No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
