hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
