new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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