so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
