love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
