i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
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You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
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No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
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