they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
