Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
