in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
