Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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