what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
