Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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