I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
