just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
