Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You ruined the universe
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
