you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
