Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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