It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
