I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I supernannyed him into submission
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
