Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
There's even glitter on my cock...
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