Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
