I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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