so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
