yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
