There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
