bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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