I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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