I wannas sexs uuuuu
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
