K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
