their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
