The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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