who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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