We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
