and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
