Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
