We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
