And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
