i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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