the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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