There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
