i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
