you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
