so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
