We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize