I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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