The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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