i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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