she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
