so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Randomize
