Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
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I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
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Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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