I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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