This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
