I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
