She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
