Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
if only i could text you this smell
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you didnt know i had herpes?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
