Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
